Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry my hands just texted you
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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