I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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