Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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