I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
