If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
