dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
