but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize