he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
