I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
