It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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