You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize