No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
