Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Randomize
