I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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