ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
