Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
