I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
