i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
