It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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