i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize