Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize