a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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