Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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