Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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