she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
