I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
