im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
