Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize