If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
