lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
