And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
