I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
