i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
