the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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