i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
