is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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