Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
