that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
