Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize