u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
