i think i have two assholes
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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