she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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