i may or may not be watching the land before time
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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