How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
