Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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