I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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