its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
