How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
