people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
