"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
