I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
