she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
