yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
