She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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