i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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