I smell stomach acid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
