Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
there is puke in my bra ... again
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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