garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
