I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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